Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Ultrasound #1

I haven't fully digested the information. I am completely happy that they found one perfect little bean! It measured 6w0d when I'm 6w4d, but the doctor said that's totally fine! He had a strong heart beat and everything looked perfect. I am honestly sad that one didn't make it, but I'm handing it over to God trusting that he knows best and rejoicing for the precious life growing inside me! Over all we made heaven a little fuller with 5 precious Filipino babies and I know they are happy and we will enjoy the one he is blessing us with on earth! We still have a long journey ahead of us with this little one so please don't stop praying!!! I will have another ultrasound in 2 weeks. Also, we still have funds that we need to pay for from all this life saving and would appreciate any donation! Thank you all for going along this journey with us! It helps more than you know!!

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Beta #2

Today I went to get my blood drawn to check my hcg levels again to make sure they've doubled. Monday my number was 71 so it needed to be at least 142. The nurse called, and I asked if she had good news for me and she said "Yes! Your number is 206!!!" Praise the Lord my numbers almost tripled! I can safely say I'm pregnant!! It feels surreal to say that and almost scary! I go for an ultrasound in 2 weeks!! March 26th!! Can't wait!! Hoping to see more than one little bean with strong heart beats! Now to stay busy getting our house ready to put on the market to help the time pass! Thank you all for you prayers! Keep them coming! There is still a long road ahead of us!

Monday, March 10, 2014

1st Beta

Today I had my first beta test (HCG levels) and they were 71. I was hoping for a higher number, but the nurse said this was a solid number! I'm still having to fight a lot of fear and anxiety so I would appreciate prayers to help fight it! I'm trying to focus on Jesus and nothing else, but it's really hard. Wednesday I go back to check my levels again. They NEED to DOUBLE! Please pray they do!!! If they do then I have to order another chunk of meds. $$ Ouch, but what ever it takes to keep these babies safe! I won't know how many are in my womb until the end of the month when I have an ultra sound. Feels so far away!!!

Friday, March 7, 2014


The time between having sex when you ovulate, or after an embryo transfer (ET) is often referred to as TWW (Two Week Wait) It is brutal!! Why?? Because it consumes your brain!!! It's all you can think about!! Am I pregnant?...What if I'm not!....Is that a possible pregnancy symptom?!?  Then on top of that when you do an ET you are pumping yourself full of hormones! So, you get symptoms from that and you go on a roller coaster of emotions. This time period is particularly hard on someone like me! (impatient, lol). I bought a bunch of pregnancy tests before we even went to CA so I could test every day! Gotta love the Dollar Tree and their $1 tests! Of course realistically this just makes things worse because of my impatience I test way to early telling my self that I know it's early so it won't bother me, but deep down every time I saw a negative it was painful! Which just made me go up and down worse. Fighting my emotions for faith!!

On Wednesday I had a blood work to check my estrogen and progesterone levels. The nurse called and said my numbers looked FANTASTIC! This was nice to hear, but I still had to battle with worry.

So after a few days of negative tests I decided to stop for a day or two. I was strong the next morning and did not test! I was so proud of myself, but still found my self starting to go down the spiral of fear and sorrow. Thankfully I was able to stop myself from going too deep and turned on the worship music and turned my focus away from the circumstances to Jesus and simply worshiped him (while ironing). It's amazing what that can do for your heart! I'm so thankful I have God to help me when things are hard!

However....that afternoon I tossed and turned as I tried to nap which has been a regular need since returning from CA...So I got up and decided to take a test...I figured I have enough of them I might as well use them. Besides, it's the afternoon so my pee is diluted so there is a high probability that it will be negative so it won't affect me (Haha, more lying to myself). I did and when I looked at it right after, it was negative...I switched the laundry and looked at it again just a few minutes later and I saw a faint line!!!! I was over the moon!!! I text my hubby a picture of it and he didn't look close and thought if it was positive it would show a + not that he should be looking for // (two lines). So he just thought I was fessing up that I gave in and took a test and that it was negative! The next morning I took another test and sure enough two lines. It's still not super dark, but definitely there!!

I've been pretty tired, and peeing ALL the time!! I've also started being fairly nauseous and smells are getting to me, but I thank GOD for pregnancy symptoms!! Funny how after having 4 babies even though it was 5+ years ago, my belly remembers the shape to go into! So at 4 weeks prego, I'm basically pulling out the few maternity clothes I've gathered since starting this process and looking for more!

There's still a long way to go so I speak life to my babies and break death and any assignment of the enemy several times a day. Pretty much anytime fear tries to come in. I would appreciate you all praying that with me! Monday I get blood work to check my HCG levels and then again on Wednesday to make sure they are doubling. Then around the last week of March I will go in for an ultrasound to check on my precious beans!!

We would also appreciate prayers and gifts for our financial need. We appreciate all levels of support!!

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Mountains and Valleys

This cycle over all has been much bumpier than the first one and it continued being bumpy on the trip to LA. The flight was uneventful other than having a pretty bad headache. The weather on the other hand, not so great. It rained the whole time we were there. Funny how CA is known for its sunny warm days, but whenever I go it's rainy and cold (well cold for CA) We got our rental car, and even though it was rush hour and had to drive through quite a bit of traffic, we got to dinner and our hotel with out incident.

 Our hotel was very nice which is always a relief! However, we forgot to pray and "clean" our room before we went to bed so we both ended up not sleeping well and praying over it at some point through the night. 

The next day was FET day! Since LA time is 2 hours behind KC time we were awake pretty early, but thankfully the FET wasn't till the afternoon. so we went to eat our free continental breakfast which was really good! They had two kinds of eggs, fried potatoes, sausages, oatmeal, waffles, cereal, and toast. We ate and then went back to our room to sleeps some more! That was pretty glorious! With 5 kids we don't get to just lay around in bed for hours during the day! We got up and ready to head to the clinic which was just down the road!
Because of the rain they were behind appointments from people getting in late. They decided to do my FET in the surgical room since they had someone else in their regular room so I wouldn't have to wait as long. The only thing different was that we had to wear this fun get up!
After we were all ready and excited, the embryologist came in to tell us about our embryos. That's when we found out that the first two didn't survive the thaw. That was a pretty hard shock. Then she showed us our last 2 that were going to be implanted. That was a lot of info to take in all at one time. So many emotions to process. The loss of two more of our babies, and that this would be the last time we are here, and trying to be positive and excited for the two that are in my womb right now. The doctor was pretty strong about trying not to dwell on the ones that didn't make it and concentrate on being excited and hopeful for the ones that did for right now because the mind effects our bodies. But that is easier said than done! After losing 4 and trying to have faith that these ones will make it is a challenge, but I want to give it all I got! Whatever the outcome, we followed the Lords plan for us and that is what is important. Even if it's hard! Here is a picture of the two up close and then in my womb. I have a blood test to check my hcg levels on March 10th, however, I will probably do home tests well before then because I'm not patient!

Afterwards we went back to the hotel and when Paul went out to get us some dinner there was a beautiful rainbow! It was huge and the pictures don't do it justice! I'm trying to take that as a positive sign! Also, before we even left the Lord gave us the scripture Psalms 57:2 "I cry out to God most high; to God who accomplishes all things for me." So we have been claiming that for these babies!

The next morning Paul was up before me and went for a short walk and came back with these for me!
Again, we were up early, but breakfast wasn't open for another 30 minutes because it was the weekend and they open a bit later, so we went on a walk around the hotel and found all these beautiful nooks!


We were about to get ready to head to the airport when we got a call saying that our flight was canceled! UGH! In a time when I'm supposed to stay relaxed and calm, cancelling a flight and having to pay for another night in a hotel by the airport and pay extreme prices for food is not helpful! I tried to not worry about the cost, but not happy about having to put things on a credit card! But hey, I got another night with out kids with my hubby! Here is a view from our window of LAX at night. They got us on a flight the next day, but we weren't sure what the weather in KC was going to do so we were pleasantly surprised when they didn't get nearly the amount of snow as expected and our flight was able to go!
We got up and around and to the airport where I got some over priced but yummy eggs Florentine.
The flight back was better than the flight out due to the fact that they put us in first class! That was my first time and I have to say it was pretty nice to have a pillow and blanket and all the snacks and drinks I wanted! Then when we got back to the airport some awesome friends picked us up and took us to dinner and got pizza to take back to the kids so we didn't have to cook, while their sweet teenage daughters were watching our kids since they had to take my in-laws to the airport to go back to NY at the same time we were getting in. That was a very pleasant surprise and a huge blessing!

Now on to trying to take it easy, rest, drink lots of water, pray, and wait....

We appreciate and covet all your prayers and if you can, any financial gift you can give would be a huge blessing. Every little bit goes a long way!!

I will keep you updated as things progress!