Round #2

So after an array of emotions all over the board, with lots of crying, some anger, and praying, I finally feel at peace and ready to move on. I still have 4 sweet frosties waiting for me! Christmas was bitter sweet. I had envisioned be pregnant and full of life and instead had to deal with the loss of 2 of our babies, but still wanted to make it a happy time with our kids celebrating the birth of Christ. I lay it all at the cross and give it to the Lord. His ways are higher than ours,and even though I don't understand, I trust his goodness! I'm trying to keep hope and joy in starting the process again! We are going to aim for a March FET. Our biggest hurdle is finances. We had to put the last one on our credit card and don't have enough credit to put another one on. Plus, I HATE debt. We need to at least get the first one paid off so we can put this one on it if the money isn't provided up front. So please pray for provision and consider helping us give the chance of life to 2 more precious embryos. Thank you for all the support and prayers in this crazy journey!! We appreciate it more than you know! All the "We're praying for you!" and "I'm following your blog." ect...really means a lot and is very encouraging! It helps to not feel alone in all of this! Tomorrow I start back on the birth control...and the process begins again. The doctor said that everything is fine with me and I have 4 very good looking embryos waiting for me and I will still have an 80% chance of getting pregnant with transferring 2 again this round!

I also wanted to share what my oldest did the day we found out we lost the babies.... I had made sugar cut out cookies that day and he saw there was some dough left over and asked if he could make some. I said sure, make whatever you want. I went on doing what I was doing and he told me to come see what he made. This is what he made.....

He used a snowman and gingerbread man cutter to make two "babies" and made them hold hands, along with a cross and two stars signifying that they are with Jesus in heaven now! Can you get more sweet than that! I still can't get over the thoughtfulness of this!! We can't get ourselves to eat the cookies, so I think we are actually going to bury them to give us all closure and celebrate the lives that are now in heaven waiting for us! This is what they looked like after he decorated them...

Lost.....

Finally got the call from the nurse....We lost the babies, however, they are not lost! They are in heaven resting with Jesus! I guess my brother gets to be the uncle he always wanted to be. Don't get theological with me...I know that's not necessarily how it works. But...they are all in heaven together! It's hard to know why, lots of whys but,....I just lay it all on the cross and trust he knows best. Even if they all end up in heaven, I will know that I followed the Lords will for our lives and even if I can't see all the reasoning's, I know he has a plan for us! We have 4 more babies waiting for their chance of life so I carry on with hope! I have a phone consul with the doctor tomorrow and will know more about what happened, or at least what things look like next. Please keep me and my family's hearts in your prayers as we process this loss and wisdom on how to go forward!!

Not so good....

So today was my beta test-blood work to check my HCG levels. Sadly my HCG was only 7. That means that at least one embryo did implant but probably miscarried. The nurse said the doctor wasn't comfortable stopping the cycle quite yet and to keep using my medications and will get another HCG test on Wednesday. She said she's seen miracles happen before. I've done a good amount of crying and am having a hard time holding on to faith that there is still hope. But like I've said before...I give it all to God, I just wish that meant that it didn't hurt! It's extra hard being so close to the anniversary of my brother's passing 10 years ago. Please pray for me and everything involved. We still have 4 precious frozen babies waiting for my womb. I don't know when we will be able to start the next cycle because of funds, but we will pray and ask for wisdom and direction.

In Between...Full of Selfies

The day after the transfer I had a super laid back morning. My sweet friend went to a nice unique coffee shop and got me a yummy bagel egg sandwich. It felt so good to just lie around. I was pretty tired and the bed was super comfy!! It was really nice that check out time wasn't till noon! So even with being lazy we both had time to take nice hot showers. We said good buy to our beautiful hotel and pacific beach! I have to say, even though it was pretty, I prefer the east coast :) But I LOVED the mountains and being able to see the ocean and mountains at the same time is incredible!

 A selfie leaving the hotel..

 After the hotel we went back to Michelle's parents for some yummy cheesy potato soup and a nap! Then we went for a drive up the mountains! I was sad I didn't bring my nice camera with me to Cali, so these cell phone pics will have to do.

 Selfie on the mountain top

 After our car tour of the mountain side that was basically in their backyard, we drove into L.A. and went on a TMZ tour!

 Selfie on the tour bus...

 After the tour we stopped at the famous Pink's Hot Dog Stand!

 Selfie at Pinks!

         Ok, now that My and Michelle's face are imprinted in your minds, let me fill you in on the rest of the days so far. Don't worry, no more selfies....

The next day I slept in and just took it easy in my room at Michelle's parents while she got to visit a good friend. Then we got packed up and headed to the airport. I checked in curbside since I'm not allowed to lift anything for awhile, and between check-in and TSA check point I lost my license!! That was NOT cool! I was trying to keep calm and not stress since I'm sure that would not be good for the babies, but it was hard holding in the tears...I retraced my steps (not that far) and asked many workers with no luck! Thankfully I had enough other identifying info that I was still able to get through the check point, but I still do not have my license! Please pray they find it and that someone doesn't try to steal my identity!

 My first flight got delayed and that got me a bit stressed for a little bit because it gave me only 10 minutes between connecting flights and I'm not ALLOWED to run! Thankfully my second flight got delayed a little and ended up being in the same corridor so I was able to walk right over to my next flight.  I was so happy to see my husband at the airport and go home and be with the rest of my family!

 My husband was super nice and had taken Monday off so that he could take care of the kids and let me rest from the whole trip! I was able to rest and get laundry put through!

 Yesterday Paul went back to work and we had a pretty normal day. I was able to get laundry put away and Christmas cards done. I had to be careful, because I could feel I was starting to over do it and took a break before having to get the kids from school. 

Today Paul stayed home because he has been sick (Fever and sinus junk). Eryn-Elizabeth had had it for several days and seems better today. Please stand in faith with me that I will not get this sickness! Today I also, had blood work done to check my progesterone and estrogen levels. I got a call from my nurse this evening and she said everything looks GREAT! They like to see progesterone around 30 and mine was 81!! They like estrogen around *100's and mine was in the *200's,. I'm not sure on the exact numbers on the estrogen (I was too excited to hear that they were good), but they were at least double what they like to see!! She just said to keep on the same amounts of the meds I'm on and she will talk to me on Monday when I get my HCG levels tested!! 

I've been trying hard to walk the line of faith and at the same time preparing my heart for the worst. That's a hard task for me! I jump in with two feet and ride the emotional roller coaster that my poor husband has to deal with! When I start to get nervous or sad that they might not implant, I just remember....They are not MINE they are God's babies and I give them to him to do with as he sees fit, because I know his plan is better than mine. Even if I can't see it at the time. That has seemed to help and give me a peace through all this. I still find myself getting excited when I feel "different", my boobs have grown, and I'm having nauseous bouts, but then I get nervous because I'm scared to be excited(expectant), because it could just be in my head (convincing my body to feel a certain way) or just reactions to the hormones I'm on, and then the cycle continues and I hand it over to The Lord! Please pray for me in this time of waiting full of feelings and emotions and above all, God's will!! Monday feels close, yet so far!!

Monumental Day!

Today was the day I've been waiting for. FET day! Yesterday we (my friend Michelle and I) flew from Kansas City to LA. The flight was a bit long with my second one getting delayed which meant we didn't get to bed till quite late. I was hoping since I was so tired that I would have slept like a rock, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. I tossed and turned and when I did sleep I had a nightmare. However, that meant I did a lot of praying!! The morning went pretty smooth. We stayed at Michelle's parents house, and they are super sweet! Her mom made us yummy muffins, and I got a shower before it was time to leave for the clinic. Here are some pictures of the beautiful scenery on the the way!

 We got there right on time!!

 We ended up waiting a LONG time, but that didn't bother me because I didn't have any where else to be, and I want him to take as long as he needs with his patients, because good patient care is hard to come by some times! Plus, I had my awesome friend with me to keep me company, make me laugh, and keep things light!

 We finally got to our room and the embryologist came in to show me my sweet embies!! These were the first ones they thawed and I kept getting told on how good they looked! Woohoo! It's pretty emotional getting to see your babies at such an early stage and made it so much more real!!

First they did a mock transfer, and then did it with the 2 embies. It was really cool to be able to see it!! And it didn't hurt at all! SUPER EASY!!

 Now I have this beautiful sonogram picture! They are in my uterus, but they have to implant themselves! Please agree in prayer with me that they both will implant and grow into healthy babies!!

The little white spot in the middle of the heart are the embryos!

By the time we got out of the clinic, we were pretty hungry, so we hit a New York style restaurant and really enjoyed my pizza slice! It was HUGE, but I actually ate the whole thing! I'm eating for 3 for now :) Then we went to a hotel on the beach to rest and got a complimentary drink!! I got a super yummy virgin pina colda!

           

Then we got to watch a pretty sunset from our room! Now time to get some rest! Tomorrow...some tourism

Time is Drawing Nigh!

Tomorrow I head to the airport and leave for LA!! This afternoon Dr Kumar called to confirm the appointment and the number of embryos we are transferring. No, I'm not going to be the next Octomom! The doctor is only willing to do up to two, so that is what we are doing! I have to say I'm getting pretty nervous! Not sure why, but I'm just trying to lay it at the cross! Would also appreciate prayers for grace with all the shots I have to give myself. My rear is getting awful sore and I have to do it every day for a couple months. 

I know the Lord often likes to wait till the 11th hour, but it sure is hard not to stress about the $3,000 I have to pay, and don't have, in 2 days!! Again, I lay it at the cross and contend for provision. I know that we are doing his will and he has given me several scriptures to encourage me!

Romans 5:13 
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

1John 5:14
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

Luke 11:13
If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Mathew 7:7-8

 7"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

Progesterone!

I'm so proud of myself for giving myself my first shot of progesterone. It was actually much easier than I thought! Thank you Jesus!! Now, I just have to do it every day for a month or two if, no, when I get pregnant! Still can't believe I leave for CA in 4 DAYS!! and have the FET in 5!! So many emotions! I'm so excited, nervous, anxious, and more! I have so much to do in the next couple days that my head is spinning! I need to make a list of everything I need to do so I can hopefully get some sleep tonight! I covet all your prayers for everything involved! Drugs to do what they are supposed to, travel to go smoothly, financial provision, my nerves, the procedure itself, and above all, the Lord's will for these precious lives!! Ahhhhh! I can't wait!!!

Thanksgiving!

Wow! It's Thanksgiving and I have so much to be thankful for! I try to live a life with my heart always thankful! I thank God every morning for ALL he has done for us and all he is going to do! But this day, that is set a part to be thankful, I am overwhelmed with God's greatness! Don't get me wrong....I've gone through some rough times. I lost my baby brother several years ago when he was 17. It's hard! Even almost 10 years later it's still hard!! The pain doesn't go away, but I'm thankful for the fact that Jesus died on the cross so that we can live eternally with him if we accept him into our hearts! I'm thankful that my brother chose to do so and lived a life loving God and that, that means, someday, I will get to see him again! I like to think that he watches us and is sad when we are sad, and happy when we are happy. Holidays are always a bit hard, as well as every time I have a baby. My oldest was 3 months old when he passed, but those short months that he got to be an uncle, he was so excited! He was going to make the funnest, coolest uncle ever and I'm sad that he didn't get to do that for long! So, as it's only 8 days away from getting two precious jewels put into my womb, I'm happy, excited, and sad all at the same time. I like to think that he is proud for where we are and how we love the orphans and bring them into our home and love them as ours. We are all grafted into God's family and now we have 7 amazing kids grafted into our family! Hope you are all have a blessed Thanksgiving, no matter where you are in life!!

10 days and counting!

Today I go for my last sono until I get to LA. Please pray that my uterus lining is the right thickness. It wasn't quite thick enough last time and had to up my estrogen. I really don't want to have to up it anymore! Can't believe in 10 days we will know a little more of what God has in store for us and will have 2 precious babies in my belly!!! Also, please pray for health! A lot of people are sick and we are praying against it and using essential oils!

Round 2..

Tonight I had my second estrogen shot, not fun, but it was easier than the first. Tomorrow I have a sono to measure my uteran lining.... Please pray everything looks good!

As a praise report, one of my husbands co-workers had enough frequent flier miles to get us two tickets for less than the price of one. Huge blessing. Thank you John Rutz!! One step at a time The Lord is Providing!!

3 Weeks and 1st shot

Can't believe that in 3 short weeks we will get to see part of what the Lord has for us. They will thaw 2 embryo's to start with. If they both survive the thaw and are good they will be implanted and then will have to wait to see how many implant. I'm trying to prepare myself that one or more might not be viable after thawing and that only one or none may implant and just trust that God knows best and if they get to go straight to heaven than I need to be okay with that. They are his from the beginning and we will love and cherish however many he chooses to live life with us. I'm simply excited to be on this journey with God.

Today I got my first estrogen shot! Thankfully, the needle that I thought was going to be used, was actually the draw needle, not the one used to inject, and the inject one was smaller. I have to say though....I was super nervous and was freaking out a bit! I iced the spot for a few minutes, we prayed, and with my Husbands awesome skills it was almost PAINLESS!! I'm so RELIEVED!!! THANK YOU JESUS!!!

Last BCP and a Typhoon

Good news -  Today was my last day to take birth control!!

Sad news -  Today we also learned that an estimated 10,000 Filipinos died from a Typhoon! Lord have mercy on the whole nation! We do not know if our genetic embryo donors were there or not, but it makes having them in our possession safe in California all the more precious! The Lord's timing is perfect!! I can't wait to hold them and love them!!!

Cleared!!

So everything looked good so we are going forward!!!! Here is my schedule!!!!

Sunday 11/10 - Last birth control pill

Friday 11/15 - Start Delestrogen and Doxycycline(2 a day for a week)

Monday 11/18 - Delestrogen

Tuesday 11/19 - Sono and Hormone check

Friday 11/22 - Delestrogen

Monday 11/25 - Delestrogen

Tuesday 11/26 - Sono and Hormone check

Friday 11/29 - Delestrogen

Sunday 12/1 - Start progesterone daily

Monday 12/2 - Delestrogen 

Friday 12/6 - FET!!!!!!!!

Would appreciate prayers that my body responds to the drugs well and all the test going forward pass with flying colors!! And that financial provision will be there for all the charges! Thank you everyone for all your support and prayers! I can't express enough how crucial it is and we are super appreciative!!!

4 WEEKS TILL 2 PRECIOUS JEWELS GET A CHANCE OF LIFE!!

And it begins....

So, today I got a sonogram scheduled for TOMORROW! It's just to see and make sure that everything looks good and there aren't any issues before starting the regime for the next couple weeks leading up to the FET! I'm all kids of anxious! Excited and Nervous! Lord please help me to have a beautiful uterus with no complications of any sort!!! Please pray for my nerves and that everything looks good. The nurse is going to go over my schedule after they get the results from the sonogram and blood work to check my estrogen levels.  Also, I had to pay for all the medications to prepare my body to accept 2 sweet embies! So, please pray for finances! We are almost out of our current funds and with so many things coming up, I'm trying not to stress! I'm trusting the Lord that we will not have to go into debt to save these babies, but we will because LIFE is worth it! On a good note....a friend is going to be able to go with me and she even has family near by!!! Such a blessing to have her go with me!! Thank you all for your support! We covet your prayers!! I will update tomorrow after I know more. Hopefully good things!!!!

We have a DATE!!!

So today I got to talk to the RE Nurse and set a date for the FET!!! We have 5 - 5day AAA and 1 - 6 day BBB.  This is not one of our actual embryos, but what they look similar too!

We are set to do the FET on December 6th, 2013

In 4 and a half weeks, Lord willing, I will be pregnant!! Hopefully with twins!!

If all goes according to plan I will have a due date of

Twins: August 2nd

Singleton: August 24th

I can't wait to carry one or two of our Filipino babies!!! Pregnancy in and of its self is amazing, but to be able to be saving 6 lives and have the joys of carrying them in my womb is OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!

I will be getting a calendar of events, so to speak, from the nurse very soon. I need to see if my OB office can do same day lab results to the CA clinic, or if I need to find a different place to do my blood work and ultrasounds. I will post my schedule as soon as I know it. Hoping I'll get it tomorrow, but trying to just relax and enjoy the news of  the day!!

I'm SO EXCITED, but NERVOUS!

Please pray for:

1.) Things to get figured out with where to get the labs and ultra sounds done tomorrow.

2.) Everything to go smooth with my body. My body responding to the drugs right and to pass all the tests with flying colors with no hang ups.

3.) For FINANCES! We have been very blessed so far, but we still need several thousand in a matter of a few weeks! I know my God can do it, but it's hard not to be nervous!!!

Thank you all for going along this crazy journey with us!!! 

We have 11 kids now!!!

Friday it was official!! The 6 Filipino embryos are OURS!!! So with our current children we have 11 kids!! It will be interesting to see how many the Lord takes and how many he places with us to parent! Now just to wait till the RE nurse gets the plan and dates to me when I can have the FET!! Hoping and praying it will be today, but trying not to have to high an expectation!! Thank you for all your prayers and supports! Keep them coming!!

Heard from the Lawyer! Oh my Heart!

I hear my phone ring and see the caller id give a California number! Anxiously and nervously I answer the phone and am greatly relieved to hear the amazing lawyer's assistance's voice. I have fallen in love with her! She is so super sweet and relate-able and am so grateful for her! She tells me that they finally heard back from the donors attorney and that the donors wanted to make a few changes of the contract we sent....

1.) They don't want there to be ANY form of communication or contact possible. Initially the contract said that either family could contact the clinic and that the clinic would contact the other family. A safe way, and gives either side the option of saying no, but they don't even want that as an option! My heart sunk!!! I'm sure they have their reasons, and I respect that, but my heart breaks for these babies! When they get older and wonder why, or who, or wish they could get to know their genetic sibling! We knew going the anonymous way would be harder, but it was nice thinking we had the possibility of hope to give them! But, that's okay, because we know God wanted us to go this route to give them the LOVE they so deserve and we WILL!

2.) We are not allowed to donate to a third party, if we don't use all the embryos, then we have to destroy them! WHAT?!?!?! My GOD have MERCY!!! We plan to give the chance of life to each one of them, but what if, heaven for bid, something happens to me during one of the pregnancies, to where I can't have anymore children?! I COULD NOT destroy them, so the LORD has to keep my body safe for THEM!!! However, if necessary we could use a surrogate. Thankful we have that as an option, all though I pray we never have to go that route!

Beyond this gut wrenching news is at least a LIGHT at the end of the tunnel! We will sign off on the final copy (tonight hopefully) and then they have to sign and return and they will be OURS!!! Hopefully by early next week!!!! THEN WE CAN SET AN FET DATE!!!!!

Prayers:
    1.) That the donor couple will not be lackadaisical in getting it signed and returned!
    2.) Finances
    3.) To give me wisdom in setting up all the details for the trip to LA for the FET. I need to find someone that can go with me, because I will be drugged up and unable to drive and will have to be on bed-rest for a few days before returning home. Also, to find good flights, hotel, ect....

THANK YOU

Stubborn Body! WARNING TMI

So I have been on birth control for several weeks now (all active pills), but my body is revolting! I started to spot yesterday and then bleed lightly. I e-mailed the nurse who said to take 2 pills for 3 days and then go back to one and let her know if it doesn't work. Well, I continued to lightly bleed all day yesterday and woke up to some decent bleeding today and despite having all the hormones in my body AF is pushing through even with cramps :(   I e-mailed the nurse first thing this morning and she said to stop taking it and start back up in 5 days. This was pretty heartbreaking! I was worried it would set me back! I'm trying to just rest in knowing that God's timing is perfect and even if it's not mine, it WILL be GOOD! We could still do a December FET but.....

we still have not heard back from the donor's attorney!! It has been 3 WEEKS!!! We know the donors have reviewed it with their attorney last week, but still haven't heard back!! All these "show stoppers" are killing me! It also doesn't help to get more bills! Blood work that my insurance didn't cover, and the initial consult with Dr Kumar. It's hard seeming to get set backs and bills with out good news to go with it! I really would like to get the legal work set so we can just set a FET date! Give me something to look forward to, and so I can start the planning process of getting plane tickets, a place to stay, childcare, ect....

Please pray for things to get rolling and to be able to set an FET date! And of course for finances! We have been very blessed so far, but still need quite a bit!! Thank you all for you support and prayers, they are so GREATLY appreciated!!!

Still waiting.....

The contract is at the donors attorney and we are still waiting to hear back from them so we can finalize everything and so I can set an FET date. It is "killing" me, but I guess I need to grow in patients a little more. In the mean time, I'm trying to enjoy being on vacation visiting family in Pa/Ny! It's a little hard feeling pulled in different directions (fun family/embryo adoption) but at the same time I'm thankful for the distraction!!! My attorney said hopefully we will have more info early this week! So stay tuned.... Please keep us in your prayers. Pray for peace, finances, and all the ins and outs of the process to go smooth!! And....protection for our family against the enemy who is not happy with us!! Thank you all who have supported us this far in every way!!!!

First Doctor Apointment and Contract Draft

So, things are moving along....I've been on birth control for a week, and this weekend we got all the forms we have to fill-out and an order to get a PAP and blood work done. Both are scheduled for Wednesday morning!!! Along with the forms we had to fill out, was essentially a bill! I was pretty anxious and stressed about all the costs, but realized God put us on this journey and he will provide for it!

MINOR UPDATE----Last night we received the contract draft that makes the embryo's OURS!! We are going over it with the lawyer tonight and then just have to have the donors go over it and sign it to make it official!! This is getting so real!!! So excited!! Soon we will be a family of 13!!

Pharmacy Run...

So, today I e-mailed the clinic to see where things were at and what things look like as we go forward.I was excited to get a response today. Sometimes it takes a day or two. The assistant was finally able to reach the donor couple today and is arranging everything on their end. I will be getting all the paperwork this week! She said she would have to put me on birth control when I'm on day 2 of my period. I responded right away because today is day 3 and I asked if I had to wait a whole extra month. She said I could get on it tonight. I had her call in the script to the pharmacy with an hour to spare before the pharmacy closed! I have to be one of the happiest people to be going to get on BCP! But I am, why? Because it means I'm that much closer to getting my babies!! Also, a sweet blessing...it was totally covered by my insurance with no copay!! I will be on all active pills until all the legal stuff is sorted out and we pick a transfer date!! I will go off the pills for 3.5 weeks before the FET.

We also, looked at baby names tonight!! I have to say, that is one thing we have never had a hard time with. I'm so thankful!! I know it takes a long time for some couples to agree on names. Paul and I have 4 names picked out. 2 Boy and 2 Girl so no matter how things roll, we got it covered!!

If your local we would love to see you at our fundraising yard sale and buy some stuff or just say hi! If your not local you can still help by donating via the link to the left!

ADOPTION FUNDRAISING YARD SALE-----Saturday, Sept 28th-----8am-6pm-----
-----6613 E 123rd Ter Grandview, Mo 64030------ Come check it out and help a great cause! A large variety of stuff!! Including, but not limited to: baby stuff, furniture, clothing kids and adult, kitchen stuff, ect.... We will be accepting Credit Cards for purchases over $5!

Lawyer step....

Thank you all for your amazing love, support, and prayers!! We need them!!Okay, so we made the big decision to adopt 6 Filipino embryo's, but before the "fun" part we have to work with our lawyer Lesa. Of course our end of things will be done SUPER fast, because I'm excited! However, the donor side of things can take a little more time simply because they aren't in a hurry, because it's not as much of a priority for them. Lesa said it can be 1-3 weeks till they are officially mine! Oh my, that will feel like forever to me. I'm praying that they understand my urgency and don't doddle! In the mean time, I'm trying to see if I can start the birth control part of the process, so that when things are settled legally with the embies, we are that much closer to being able to do the FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). If you know me, or as you can see, patient is not a word that describes me!! Never has been. You can ask my MOM! I'm trying to not be too anxious...Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.... So, if you think about it, please pray for my heart and nerves to be calm and trust God's timing! And pray the staff doesn't get annoyed with my pushing ;)

Also, this means we have to pay a big chunk of $$ to the lawyer! So, more than half of what we've raised so far will be gone, but....Praise God we have it!!

Other than straight donations, we are trying to raise money a couple of other ways......

First we are doing a 10 day fundraiser through Chrome Buffalo selling t-shirts. We get $11 for every t-shirt sold!! You can check it out and buy one HERE!!

Also, I do family/maternity/baby photo shoots for a suggested donation of only $99 

You can check out my work on my Facebook Page  HERE

And the decision is....

After a weekend full of prayer and listening we have decided to go forward with adopting 6 Filipino Embryos!! There are all sorts of feelings!! Excitement, fear, anxious, EXCITEMENT! We were originally looking for around 4, but really feel led to these 6 Filipino babies! There are so many variables! We don't know out of these 6 how many will survive the thawing process and from there, how many will take in my womb. They will only do 2 at a time, so I will NOT be having sextuplets!! But, there is a possibility of having 3 sets of twins. VERY, very slim, but possible. Or we could only end up with one baby out of 6. We are just going to have to wait and see what the Lord has in store for us! Please keep us in prayers as we continue in this journey! The next step is working with a lawyer to get them legally ours! Then we will start the process of getting my body prepared! I'm not sure of a time line, but it looks very possible to be pregnant in November or December!! Trying not to set my expectation too high, but I have hope! It's amazing how attached to these babies I am already! I love having someone to specifically pray for!! I will hopefully be in contact with the lawyer today and learn more from my doctors office! I will keep you all posted!! So keep praying things go smoothly, and funds come in!!

Making Progress!

So it's been 2 tortuous weeks with out hearing anything, but today we made leaps and bounds! We are deciding between 2 profiles. This is hard...I want to save them all...but I know that's not practical... We want the ones that God wants for us! Please pray for wisdom and revelation as we make this decision. We will probably finalize our decision by Monday morning. One profile has 6 Philipino embryos and one has 4 Caucasian embryo's. We are torn because 4 was our original goal, but for some reason we feel drawn to the the 6 Philipino. It's hard because we will give a chance of life to all the embies that we get. A large percentage don't survive the thawing process, but it is likely that if we went with the 6 that I would end up doing the process twice. We really just want what God wants for us and not make choices out of fears. There are a lot of unknowns through this process and will take it one step at a time. This is a HUGE step and I don't want to go the wrong way!

Also, please pray for the financial aspect. Putting things in motion means paying $$. We have been so blessed so far, but have a long way to go. I have faith that God will provide, but that doesn't mean I'm still not worried, even though I shouldn't.

We are having a Garage Sale at a friends house in 2 weeks. Stay tuned for more info on that!

Please consider donating to help us save some of these precious lives just waiting to have a womb to grow in! Every little bit helps! Seriously, every $5 dollars adds up!! I mean really, if each one of my "friends" on Facebook gave only $10 these babies would be fully supported!!

Thank you for all those who support us in prayer and/or financial. It really means a lot to us and the babies we are saving!

Profiles!

We are looking at profiles!!! Ahhhh, this is happening so fast!! ♫ ♪ That's the way uh huh uh huh I like it. Uh huh uh huh! ♪ ♫ I will let you all know when we choose one! Right now we are looking at Armenian, Caucasian (Italian/Russian), and Philipino couples. We are open to any ethnicity. Pretty much our only factor is how many embryo's the couple has. We are shooting for around 4. To get the best possibility of having 1 or 2 babies with out the likely hood of 5 or 6! We will give all embryos that we get a chance of life, but they will only transfer 2 at a time. So it all depends on how many survive the thaw, an then how many take in my womb. I could end up having to go through the procedure again if the first set thaw well and we have some left over. The only stress factor to it all happening so fast is the finances! The lawyer fee just to get the embryo's legally ours is $1,000! Trying not to let that overwhelm me, knowing I have a God who LOVES adoption and saving babies!! And just focus on praying for the babies to-be and looking forward to tiny ones being in my arms!! Thanks for walking this journey with us! We appreciate all the prayers and support we can get!!! If you can, please consider donating to help give these precious little ones a chance of life!

Now we wait for a match!

Sometimes things don't go quite as you plan...

 Today I was scheduled to talk to the doctor at 2:30. Perfect. Izzy will be down for a nap and I will have a little time to pray and unwind...however things changed... I was out running errands keeping very aware of the time to make sure I was home in plenty of time! While I was just walking away from the cash register at my last stop, I got a call. I knew as it rang it was the doctor and my heart sank. Oh no, this is not good timing! ...I answered and sure enough it was the nurse. She said I know it's early but are you available to talk to the doctor now?

(thinking to my self.....Like I'm going to say no?!? I'm too excited and I don't have patience. I'm not going to risk putting it off a day or two.)

 I said I'm just walking away from the register, can you give me 5 minutes to get in the car? She said yes, I'll have him call you in 5. So I rush to the car trying not to fumble getting my keys out of my purse trying to make sure I'm good and settled by the time he calls. I get Izzy in the car and text a friend to pray!! And I try to calm myself! It's not just that I'm driving, but Izzy likes to talk and needs responses the whole time when it's just her and I. So he calls and again he asks if it's okay and says he's sorry for screwing up the time but his wife wanted him home at a specific time and he wanted to make his wife happy.

(Now that is a great hubby, brownie points right there, even tho it messes me up)

So, Izzy was difficult as expected, but he was really nice. He really seems to care about these babies and his patients! I shared a very brief story of us and gave him our medical history. He said I need to start taking prenatal vitamins, so funny but a little thing like that makes me excited like I'm closer to having a baby! Also, to get information to the nurse about what we are open too genetic wise. My husband and I feel that every life is deserving of a loving family so we are open to ANY race!

 We originally were working towards an open adoption since it is easier on the child(ren), but I got overwhelmed with the spirit this afternoon about how anonymous babies need love even more because their bio parents don't want to even know about them! It will make things more challenging for us, but I want to show them love like no other and that they ARE wanted!

We are still open to an open adoption and have our profile up on Miracles Waiting, so we will see what door the Lord opens.

 The other factor is that we are only looking for a few embryo's because we will give all embies that we are matched with a chance at life, and since we already have 5, we don't want to get 10 embryo's.

So know we WAIT, the dreaded WAIT till we get matched. Once matched there is only about a month before I can have the procedure and get pregnant! I would really like to get pregnant before Christmas, but it's all in God's hands now and I trust that his timing is perfect!

So far we have been blessed tremendously, but we still need to raise a good amount of money to cover the lawyer fees, medication, procedure, more drugs, and travel expenses. There are still 2 days to take advantage of the Massage raffle!

Keep us in prayers and we appreciate any encouraging words!!!!

Interview...

I know you might not care, but I have an appointment for a phone interview with the doctor in LA on Thursday at 2:30! Please pray all goes well, and especially for my nerves, so I speak clearly and not super fast because I'm so excited or fumble over my words!! Also, please feel free to leave comments! I'm going a bit crazy and it helps to know people are there :p

We still need funds as well. I'm running a raffle of sorts, was for today only, but going to extend it till the end of the month. If at least 5 people donate any amount, I will randomly pick one person to be given a 45 min Hot Stone Massage with Essential Oils!! Come on,who would want that!!! For every $10 you give, your name will get added to the bucket! So for example if you give $30 you get your name in 3 times! Pa/Ny friends you can get in on this too because we will be visiting in the middle of October and I can give it to you then!! Who's going to be the first to help save a couple babies?

What else would you like to see raffled? Have suggestions for raising money? It's so much faster than with a typical adoption. I'm trying not to freak out, but not sure I'm doing a good job with that!

One Small Step Closer....

Got an e-mail from Dr Kumar's office to print, fill out, and return this paper...

 and then we will schedule a phone interview. You better believe I am doing it all in the same day. Printed, filled out, and e-mailed back! Not sure when the phone interview will be, but excited and nervous! One step closer....

Trying not to dwell on the money part and the waiting till we get matched with some embryo's. We are considering doing anonymous, but we will see what the Lord does! Lord have mercy and help me sleep with all my anxiousness!!

Here we go again!

So we are officially starting a new journey to adopt again!! This journey will be like no other! We are going to adopt embryo's, also called snowflake babies! I know this is different, but if you take the time to learn about it, it really is an awesome way to save babies!!! I will give an explanation of it and at the bottom of the page I will put a couple links where you can learn more. It's a shorter process in a way, but not if you count the length of pregnancy. At least with our last experience where we went from first application to baby in our arms in 7 months.

Basically when a woman has fertility problems one of the ways they try to get pregnant is through IVF(In Vitro Fertilization) This is a costly procedure where the woman takes drugs to stimulate her ovaries to produce a bunch of eggs. Then they harvest them and fertilize them with the husbands sperm to create an embryo. Since it is so expensive they create many embryo's to have the best odds of getting pregnant. However, sometimes it works on the first try or they have a few and want no more and then they have some left over and they have to decide what happens to them. They can dispose of them, donate them to science, freeze them indefinitely, or freeze and donate them to other women who want to get pregnant. This is pretty controversial, but my husband and I feel it is wrong to dispose or donate them to science. They are babies! There are an estimated of 500,000 frozen embryo's around the world just waiting for a womb to grow in! I loved being pregnant and am excited about saving a baby(or more)'s life! Once we are matched with a donor the process should take 2-4 months till I'm pregnant. And the cost will be about $5-6K for everything.

Here is a rough draft of what it will look like.

       1.) We put up a profile on a site called Miracles Waiting. It is a place where you can put an ad that you are looking for embryo's and information about yourself so donors can look and find someone they feel will be a good fit to what they want for their babies. You can just go straight through your doctor to get anonymous donors, but we would like to have a semi open adoption since that is what we have with Izzy. We would like them to have the option to get to know their biological siblings and parents.

      2.) I have contacted the ER (reproductive endocrinologist)  that we will most likely use. Dr Kumar in LA. He was HIGHLY recommended to me from a couple women.

      3.) Once we are matched, we work with an attourney to get all the legal stuff figured out so that we are the legal parents then we have to get the embryo's to our clinic. I will also start regiment to get my body prepared to accept the embryos. Essentially BCP (birth control pills) and some other hormones to thicken my uterine wall. I will detail that more when I am going through it.

      4.) When everything is perfect I will travel to LA for the FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer). I will stay in the area for a couple days then come back to finish out my pregnancy.

Before we get to far we really need to raise the funds! It was amazing to see God work through Izzy's adoption and trust he can do it again! I can't thank those who helped with that enough! We can't imagine our lives with out her! She brings so much joy to our family and know we will feel the same with this baby(ies)!! ANY amount is a huge blessing!! No amount is TOO small! Every little bit gets us closer to saving a sweet baby(or two).

Donating is super easy! Just click THIS Go Fund Me LINK Can be anonymous or known. Also, I have a paypal link on the right side bar. Or you can send cash or check to 4003 E 115th St. Kansas City, Mo 64137

Here are a couple Links to some websites that you can read through with more information. Please feel free to ask questions, but please be respectful and supportive!

Miracles Waiting

Embryo Adoption Awareness Center

We really appreciate all your prayers and support while we head down this new journey!!! I will keep this blog updated constantly!