Round #2

So after an array of emotions all over the board, with lots of crying, some anger, and praying, I finally feel at peace and ready to move on. I still have 4 sweet frosties waiting for me! Christmas was bitter sweet. I had envisioned be pregnant and full of life and instead had to deal with the loss of 2 of our babies, but still wanted to make it a happy time with our kids celebrating the birth of Christ. I lay it all at the cross and give it to the Lord. His ways are higher than ours,and even though I don't understand, I trust his goodness! I'm trying to keep hope and joy in starting the process again! We are going to aim for a March FET. Our biggest hurdle is finances. We had to put the last one on our credit card and don't have enough credit to put another one on. Plus, I HATE debt. We need to at least get the first one paid off so we can put this one on it if the money isn't provided up front. So please pray for provision and consider helping us give the chance of life to 2 more precious embryos. Thank you for all the support and prayers in this crazy journey!! We appreciate it more than you know! All the "We're praying for you!" and "I'm following your blog." ect...really means a lot and is very encouraging! It helps to not feel alone in all of this! Tomorrow I start back on the birth control...and the process begins again. The doctor said that everything is fine with me and I have 4 very good looking embryos waiting for me and I will still have an 80% chance of getting pregnant with transferring 2 again this round!

I also wanted to share what my oldest did the day we found out we lost the babies.... I had made sugar cut out cookies that day and he saw there was some dough left over and asked if he could make some. I said sure, make whatever you want. I went on doing what I was doing and he told me to come see what he made. This is what he made.....

He used a snowman and gingerbread man cutter to make two "babies" and made them hold hands, along with a cross and two stars signifying that they are with Jesus in heaven now! Can you get more sweet than that! I still can't get over the thoughtfulness of this!! We can't get ourselves to eat the cookies, so I think we are actually going to bury them to give us all closure and celebrate the lives that are now in heaven waiting for us! This is what they looked like after he decorated them...